


Contractual Obligations

by Moongazer12



Series: A Dryad’s Tale by Bilbo Baggins [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No One Ring, BAMF Bilbo Baggins, Cursed Bilbo Baggins, Dryad Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf and Bilbo are old friends, like really old, old as BALLS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28174593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moongazer12/pseuds/Moongazer12
Summary: Bilbo is a dryad (think little sibling to ents). Long ago a curse was placed upon him from destroying one of the rings of power. Whenever he touches someone with his bare skin he will make them insane.But despite this, he and Gandalf have gone on many adventures to help protect Middle Earth (What was the point to destroying the ring if something else destroyed it instead?)Gandalf has called on him once again to help on a quest, Bilbo just hopes that they read his amendments to the contract.
Series: A Dryad’s Tale by Bilbo Baggins [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115066
Comments: 6
Kudos: 95





	Contractual Obligations

Bilbo was early. He was hours early. But he needed to be in order to properly scope out the tavern. It had been ages since Bilbo had been in the Blue Mountains and much of it had changed. Hence him being early. 

Gandalf has asked for assistance in a quest again, and Bilbo has agreed. It would be rude to turn someone down who was in need of help; at least that’s what Belladonna always said. 

Bilbo sighed. He misses his friend dearly. She and her husband were one of the many that died during the Fell Winter. He had met her when she was a young lass, bright eyed and ready for adventure. They had gone on an adventure to visit the Last Homely House and see the elves. That was before she settled down and married Bungo. 

“You’re early.” Called a familiar voice. Bilbo looks up from his musings to see Gandalf approaching him. “And with a sour look on your face. We haven’t even started and you already look so glum.”

“Sorry.... just, uh, remembering things.” Bilbo shakes his head to clear away the last of his lingering gloom. “When should we be expecting your party?” Bilbo asks

“Soon enough, I should think.” 

“As straight forward as ever, I see.” The dryad rolled his eyes at the Istari. “Did you tell them about the stipulation?” 

“Yes, it should be in the contract, and as far as I know, they all know not to touch you.” The wizard said reassuringly. 

Bilbo breathed a sigh of relief. “Well that’s good. We don’t want a repeat of the Rohan incident now, do we?”

“No we don’t.” Gandalf said quietly. They said in silence for a few moments, remembering the past. Gandalf was the first to shake it. 

“So how have you been dear boy?” He asked as he pulled out his pipe and lit it. 

“I’ve been taking care of Bagend for the past 25 or so years now.” Said Bilbo causally. It had been 27 years and 3 months, but who’s counting (Bilbo that’s who) 

“I heard of poor Bungo and Bellad-“

“Please don’t.” Bilbo looked away. 

“And why ever not?” Gandalf insisted. 

“Because they were my friends. And it’s only been a few years. Olórin, I haven’t talked about them to anyone. I don’t know when I’ll be ready, but I’m not right now.” Bilbo said, quiet and sad. He was starring had his gloved hands, pretending that tears weren’t pricking at his eyes. 

Gandalf nodded and in a moment of great restraint, decided not to push his old friend any further. 

“Have I ever told you about the time I grabbed a bottle of Thranduil’s best wine during a white council meeting?” Gandalf asked, changing the topic to a lighter subject matter. 

This lighted the mood considerably. They laughed and swapped stories, staying away from the more painful topics. Just as Bilbo was telling a tale of of he, Elladan, and Elrohir had spiked the punch bowl at one of Elrond’s balls, they are interrupted by a bald dwarf who iscovered in tattoos. 

“Gandalf. I thought we were meeting in private.” The dwarf gruffs. Bilbo, out of habit of seeing a new person, fidgets with his gloves; making sure that they’re coving him completely. 

Gandalf casually takes his pipe out of his mouth. “Everyone is at this table because they ought to be. I don’t need to explain myself to you Dwalin son of Fundin.”

Dwalin nods stiffly, and turns around to go order himself some ale and food. He came back and sat as far away from the other two as he possibly could. 

He studies the strange creature next to Gandalf. Dwalin has never seen anything like it before. The creature had a mushroom(? Dwalin couldn’t tell?) on his head and marks on his face, as well as pointy ears. The rest of him was covered up in thick hides and chainmail. 

_ At least Gandalf’s friend seemed to be able to take care of himself _ Dwalin mused.

Bilbo was struggling to keep ahold of the conversation now that another person had appeared. Yes, he was sitting far away, and yes Bilbo was covered up (he had checked), but Bilbo couldn’t couldn’t help but be on his guard. He’d never forgive himself if he accidentally cursed one of his companions. Companions? He hasn’t even met everyone that going on this quest and he’s already calling them companions? Yavanna help him. 

“Bilbo, take a breath. It’s going to be all right.” Gandalf said quietly, so only Bilbo could hear him. 

“Easy for you to say.” Bilbo hissed back. “You’re not the one that has to worry about making people go insane.” Gandalf gave him a soft look. 

“I think you have said I drive you mad on more than one occasion, my friend.” Gandalf said softly. Bilbo’s lips twitched. He couldn’t help it. His friend knew him too well to let him stay in a melancholy state for too long. 

“Be that as it may, I think our situations are rather different.” Bilbo said obstinately (and perhaps a little jokingly.) 

Whatever Gandalf was about to say, it was cutoff by the arrival of a second dwarf. This one had white hair and a white beard. He came up to the table with food and drink in hand. He set his stuff down between the first dwarf and the wizard. The second dwarf went up to the first dwarf and they bashed their heads together. Bilbo knows this is a greeting custom, he’s seen it before on his other adventures with Gandalf, but it still makes him shudder slightly. It looks so painful. Once the white haired dwarf was done speaking to the bald dwarf, he came up to Gandalf. 

“Good evening Gandalf, and you must be our burglar. I’m Balin son of Fundin, advisor to king Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór.” Balin held out a hand to the dryad. Bilbo hesitated, looking at the hand. Balin seemed to remember himself, and dropped the hand. “Apologies, master burglar. Habit. It won’t happen again.” 

“I am Bilbo,” he paused and looked at his friend for a moment, “ Baggins of Bagend, I have been a companion on many of Gandalf’s journeys.”

“At yours and your family’s service, or is there a more appropriate greeting for where you’re from?” Balin asks politely.

“Oh- uh- that was okay. I- I mean, that was an appropriate greeting.” A blush crawled up Bilbo’s face. Goodness, he was really out of practice when it came to talking to other people. He just knew Belladonna would laugh at him if she could see him now. 

Balin was about to say something, when two more dwarves appeared as if out of nowhere on either side of him. 

“Hi Balin!” They said in unison. 

“Hello boys. Meet Gandalf and Master Baggins, our wizard and burglar respectively for the trip. And these two fellows are Fíli and Kíli, sons of Dis, and heirs to the throne.” 

“Hello there master Boggins.” Kíli said as he came around the table to get closer to the burglar. “What are you? I’ve never seen anything like you before. You’re so small and tiny. Can you fight? What’s your weapon? Oh and what is this-“

“Don’t!” Bilbo yelled as he snatched Kíli’s hand at the wrist, which was reaching towards his mushroom capped head. It happened so quickly, he didn’t have time to check his gloves. The dryad just hoped that his quick reaction hadn’t cost the boy his sanity. 

Everyone in the room starred at them. It was so quiet, Bilbo was sure that they could all here his heart beating like it was trying to escape from his chest. Slowly he moved the hand away from his head. 

“Master Balin, does everyone know about the contract?” Bilbo asked, polite voice strained by the amount of sheer terror flowing through his veins. 

“Yes, Master Baggins.” Balin answered quickly. 

“Then why is this boy doing the one thing he’s not suppose to?” Bilbo snapped

“He’s young and energetic. He meant no harm.”

“And yet harm could have happened.” He looked directly at Kíli. “In the future please refrain from touching people who do not wish to be touched.” 

And with that he let go of Kíli’s wrist, but kept an eye on him as the young dwarf turned around and quickly fled back to the other side of the table by his brother and Dwalin. All three of them had their heads close together, whispering about him, Bilbo had no doubt about that. Whatever, he was use to it. At least the boy was coherent enough to gossip, Bilbo wasn’t ashamed of his actions. 

He turned to Balin. “Do the other dwarves know about my stipulation?” 

Balin nodded. 

“Good. Well that was enough excitement for one day. I think it’s time for me to go to bed.” Bilbo turned to leave, but was stopped by Balin’s call. 

“But you haven’t even heard about the quest, or met the rest of the company, or even the king. Surly you’ll stay to at least meet them.” Balin pleaded. 

A horrific scene flashed before Bilbo’s eyes, 13 dwarves some screaming mad, or rushing around giggling, or crying in a corner, or -worst of all- completely silent and starring off into the distance, unresponsive to the world. 

Bilbo furiously shook his head. “I’m sure Gandalf can fill me in later. And I’ll meet them tomorrow. I don’t want a repeat of what just happened. Not thebest way to start a journey.” Balin nodded his head with solum understanding. 

As the dryad turned to leave Gandalf called out in Sindarin. “ **Will you still be here when the morning comes**? ” 

“ ** Yes. I’ve signed the contract. I won’t go back on my word. I’ll see you in the morning ** .” Bilbo said in a resigned voice that conveyed that he’d rather sneak out into the night than meet the rest of the thirteen dwarves tomorrow. 

“ ** Mind how you go ** .” Gandalf called

“ ** Mind how you go ** .” Bilbo echoed back their old parting phrase. Wether it was for the night or til the next adventure, they always ended their time with that phrase. It’s an old song and dance, one that they’ve done for over an age. It’s comforting in its formality.

  
  


Slowly the rest of the company showed up at the tavern’s back room. They laughed and talked and planed. When Thorin asked about the burglar, Balin told him what happened.

Thorin wanted to be upset with the burglar. How dare he touch and berate his nephew? But Balin reminded him that contractually, master Baggins told all of them up front not to touch him. 

The rest were taking bets as to why he didn’t want to be touched. Big money was on some form of PTSD, while some said maybe there was chronic pain, or sensitivity or something akin to that. Whatever it was they were all very firmly reminded that master Baggins -no Kíli not Boggins, Baggins- was not to be touched under any circumstance, even if his life depended on it. 

After that, Thorin walked up to Gandalf and told him “With contractual obligations like that, I cannot guarantee his safety on this trip.” 

“I understand. And he has been on many quests with me with that proviso before. He’ll be fine.” Gandalf assured the king.

Thorin nodded and went back to his dwarves. This would be the last time they’d be able to celebrate and enjoy themselves so throughly for a long time. They might as well enjoy it.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is complete for now. I might add updates later and make this a series, but that depends on if I get inspired to write more of this or get side tracked by another project.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated ^-^
> 
> My tumblr is sharedyourperilsthorin


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